Mazi83, 41

Well my life has been one struggle after another. As it has for many of us. I have found myself to be hard headed and it might take me a couple times before I learn but its mostly because I feel I have been cheated. I always strive to be a good person and I have always been the type to put others before myself. Unfortunately it brought me a lot of sadness and failure but I refuse to change who I am. So I really haven't been much for relationships because the couple or so I had in my younger years always turned out bad. Abusive and heartbreaking. So for years I stayed away from relationships. Well a little over 4 years ago that all changed. I thought, well in my heart I still feel, I found the love of my life. At the time we were both starting to fall when we started seeing eachother but we fell together and went through being homeless living in the woods for over 2 years, among so, so much more. We went through times I couldn't imagine anyone else being able to go through and still be together. Well Unfortunately a couple , well a few for me, of those hard times of course involved getting arrested. Long story short I was on probation for possession charges and was sent to a long term rehab facility where I hated it so bad I didn't even last over a week. I used my last bit of money to hop on a Greyhound and go home. My boyfriend had made a promise to me that he would go to rehab as well which is why I chose the crappy one I did, it was co-ed, but in my heart I knew he wasn't coming. For some reason I thought I could come back home, get him, and go to a better rehab, together, and of course live happily ever after. Well nope, didn't happen. I end up stuck there where he was with really nowhere to go, while on the run, ending up at a friend's house. There is so much more to the story but, I end up getting caught, going to jail, and of course sentenced to a few months in prison. He goes back to his ex who is aweful and gets shot and killed. I find out while in p